Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
