You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
