When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
