Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Are we still banned from the library?
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
We need to get me chipped asap
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
