You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Randomize
