can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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