It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
