Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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