Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
look no pants
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
