I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
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