I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
There are leaves in my underwear?
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