dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Randomize
