Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
