My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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