Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Randomize
