he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
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