She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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