i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
