Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
