You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
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