In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
are you so shy because you have an std?
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize