I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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