Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I understand Curling. That high.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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