Plan B is the new Plan A
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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