So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
