She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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