I wish i was in the wii world.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize