Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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