Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I believe in your delicious
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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