Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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