Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
