all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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