he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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