I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Dear god my vagina.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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