lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
