she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
