What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I FOUND THE LEGS
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
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