Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
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