Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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