meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
