my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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