You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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