2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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