YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
