Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
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