8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
