Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Randomize
