when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
