Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
