You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
