I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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