Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize