My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
