I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
