You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
