Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize