are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
wrigley field is MILF paradise
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Randomize
