We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
