worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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