A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
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