i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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