Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
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