So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
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