Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
fuck your aforementioned shoe
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Randomize
