yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
