put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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