I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
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