sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I FOUND THE LEGS
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
