well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
