oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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